I have been so angry and frustrated lately it’s scaring me. I’m assuming it must have something to do with not drinking. I feel every little thing that doesn’t go my way sets me off. I’m being a bitch and I don’t mean to be.
Over the years I’ve realized I’ve become a control freak. Perhaps I always have been, but needed someone to point it out to me until I realized “oh yeah, that’s me”.
I constantly criticize me husband about the way he does things or feel I have to do it in order for it to be right. Today he decided to make a corn chowder and was slicing potatoes like you would for potato chips and it drove me nuts, because you don’t slice potatoes for a soup like that. I felt like I needed to take over and make the damn soup, which is just ridiculous!
Later today we had to wash my daughter’s hair, which is a lot more difficult than it sounds, since she broke her arm, cannot go in the tub and get her splint wet. She’s also five and has her own set way of doing things. Anyway she would not listen to me trying to wash her hair and was fighting me every step of the way. I wanted to throttle her. Hubby told me to walk away and he would handle, but not before I complained he wouldn’t do it right and would get soap and water everywhere. I then went into our room and screamed in my pillow. The whole thing was just insane, I never get that enraged. After I felt awful cried and apologized to both of them.
It’s things like what happened today, that is making my blood boil. How do I stop feeling this way? I think I need to give up some control and stop feeling like I need to handle everything.
I can only do one thing at a time. I’m not super woman nor do I need to pretend to be.