I ran into a friend I hadn’t seen since my early 20s today. It was wonderful to see her and take some time to catch up. Even though it had been so long, I considered her a genuine friend, someone who actually cared about me and vice versa.
It’s amazing when you think of all the people who pass through our lives. Some stay and some go. Some friendships were based on different stages in our lives and situations at the time. I’ve had several friendships I thought were important, but as I got older realized they weren’t worth my time and walked away.
I used to socialize with a large group. The girl at the head of the group, I met in college. I became friends with her friends by association. They were never really my friends, even if I thought differently at the time. Our friendship was based on the same college classes, clubbing and drinking. Then she got pregnant, all the other girls in the group did too, but not me. Things changed quite a bit after that. She wanted to be super mom and I wanted to go out like old times. We were just two different people at completely different stages. The friendship went on for another 10 years but it was too long in hindsight. Even though we’re at similar stages now, both married with kids, I see no common bond. There was never really any depth to the friendship, it was all surface.
Other friendships have various ups and downs but withstand the test of time. I’ve known my best friend since I was 12. She’s really more like the sister I never had and we fought like sisters too. She moved next door to me and I became like part of her family. It wasn’t all roses though, her family was very dysfunctional and sometimes it was scary. We both struggled with insecurities and depression but worked to help each other through it. We had a lot of fun times too and later some bad times. I had to part ways for awhile in my late teens when my friend started selling drugs and was affiliated with a local gang. We’d talk once in awhile, but for about 10 years we lost touch. Somewhere during that time, she moved across the US and restarted her life. She broke all ties and focused on improving her life. I was skeptical at first, but realized she changed when we reconnected a few years ago.
We don’t see each other much now, but that’s due to distance, she lives overseas . We still take time to touch base every couple of weeks. This girl knows me inside and out, and I her. I feel that is a rare thing and I’m so thankful for our friendship.
To this day, I’ve never been a social butterfly with tons of friends. There are times it gets me down because my life is basically work, home, sleep, repeat, but then I realize how lucky I am to have a wonderful, loving, husband and sassy and beautiful daughter. Oh I have a dog as well, a little fuzzball and he’s the best!