Today was a quiet day. We were originally to have family over, but didn’t want anyone to catch my husbands virus, so it was just us three and the dog or course. In the morning I made cinnamon rolls, we did the baskets, hunt the plastic eggs filed with coins and chocolate then colored the real eggs. We watched a Pixar flick, blew more bubbles and I made a small ham dinner.
I realize this may sound completely lame and boring to some. Not too long ago, this was lame to me. Instead of trying to just get through things with a glass here or there, I’m really trying to be present, for myself and my family. I want be in the moment and appreciate all I have, rather than constantly thinking about the future and worrying about anything and everything.
Today I am thankful and grateful for many things. Number one is always my family. Before I met my husband I was headed down a dark path. My self confidence was severely lacking due to being hurt countless times and I couldn’t trust anyone. I never thought relationships could be easy, because they never were. I was always waiting for him to runaway, but of course he didn’t. He stayed and I truly let him in and let my walls down. The birth of my daughter made me realize, it’s not all about me. I also truly, for the first time, understood unconditional love. I love my parents and my husband, but the love for my daughter exceeds everything. You never know love, like the one you have for your child. She is my world, not to say that I lost my identity when I gave birth, because I am definitely didn’t . But I am a mom that wants to be a good role model and present for her child. I can see now with just three weeks sobriety I was very easily distracted and too wrapped up in wanting to control everything.
So the second thing I’m thankful for is making it through the first holiday without drinking. Normally there would still be multiple half empty wine bottles around and right about now, they’d be whispering that I needed to drink them up. But alas I have my diet raspberry ginger ale which has become my new drink of choice.