Today wasn’t a bad day, in fact it was like just about every other workday. But some days I feel anxious and have cravings for no reason, today was one of them.
It was difficult tonight, I really wanted a drink. I feel like my mind tries to trick me sometimes. This is the longest I’ve gone without alcohol for about three years. My addict brain is saying I’m OK to drink now, I really don’t have a problem. I know that’s not true, I’ve been down this road before, and taken the path back to where I was. I don’t want alcohol to control me, because I certainly can’t control it. I don’t want to get complacent and forget my reasons for not drinking. It scares me how my brain just messes with me like this and I worry at times I’ll fail and revert back to my old ways.
We’re going on vacation in about a month and it will be so good to get away. We will be staying with my mom down south and it should be warm enough to swim. I can’t t wait to hit the beach. I already told my mom about not drinking and she’s happy and supportive. She said she’ll keep alcohol out of the house. I’ll be loading up on sweet tea in place of wine.