Stop being defensive

I hate being defensive and getting my back up in the air, especially at work. Today I was like this for really no reason, before I knew if there was even a reason to be. I provided a template drawing to a supplier and instructed them to duplicate it, so it was twice the size in length. I was told this was fine per our operations lead in our initial team meeting about the project . Well, today I hear the size could have been smaller, as our supplier had some difficulty obtaining material for this size. The same person who created the drawing and agreed during the meeting with the instruction, is now saying it’s not correct. There is nothing I can do either, because he’s very high up in the food chain, like in the top three. I basically told my boss I’m not taking the heat for it and it’s not falling on me. I know I should have kept quiet, but I’m pissed. She tends to always agree with everything he says and does, even if he’s wrong. I’ll have to see how it plays out. The whole thing drives me nuts though. I have a very strong work ethic and take pride in what I do. So if I make a mistake, I will own up to it.

The company culture at our place is a lot to be desired. There are a few select people that can do no wrong and you can never stand up to them. If you do, you’re out. I suppose a lot of places are like this, but anyone I work with, says they’ve never been at a place like it. Overall, I love my job because it’s something different everyday. However that means constant multi tasking and changing gears, which can be stressful. Most of all my communication is external, I work between suppliers and customers, so thankfully I’m not involved in a lot of the day to day operations.

Anyway, I wish I handled things differently and didn’t let my emotions get the best of me. I am one of those people who wears my heart on my sleeve. I just need a tougher shell.