My heart hurts and I feel empty, someone is missing. It’s been a week since we lost our dog. The sadness just doesn’t go away. Sometimes I still feel in shock and can’t believe he’s gone. I have had dogs my whole life and have lost them too, but he was my special boy, my dog mate, my heart. I miss him so much.

I know he’s in a better place and would never want him to suffer, but I miss seeing him. I adopted him when he was 3 and a half and we had him just about 10 years. He had the sweetest disposition and was such a love.

We planted flowers and two rose bushes this weekend in his honor. We will also make a stepping stone and I’m going to compile pictures in a scrapbook along with stories of the funny things he did.

This is just so hard, life doesn’t stop but I have to grieve. I worked all last week except the day we said goodbye. I had to shut my door to cry and take time. I know people will expect me to start moving on. I’m able to hold it together at at work but being home is tough. I expect to see him everywhere and he’s not there. I put the food dishes and gates away. There are still dog hairs floating around, but I let them be. I have his picture on my dresser of him smiling, I see it when I go to bed and wake up. I talk to him and tell him I love him everyday.

2 thoughts on “My heart

  1. I’m so sorry you’re having a hard time at the moment. Feeling the pain is such an important part of the grieving process – far healthier than pushing it down with alcohol and trying to avoid it. It’s hard and horrible now but you know you’ll find a way through to the other side, just give yourself time and be gentle and self-caring in the meantime. Hugs x

    Liked by 1 person

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