Feeling pretty pissed off right now and hurt. My best friend who is visiting from our of the country completely blew me off today. We specifically made plans for today. I was going to go there, then she was going to come here then I get a message her kids are having tantrums and they need to nap and she’ll try to get in touch later. This was at 2, I didnt hear back until 6:30 and the excuse was she fell asleep and she’s sorry about the day. I wasted my day waiting for this visit, I could have done something wise instead of hanging around. She then says we could get together on a week night. I said she welcome to come here but it would be too difficult for me to go there. I am working and my daughter gets up for school everyday. I’m tired of this crap. We’re supposed to be doing something Friday and I’m taking the day off but she better not pull this because I’m in negative hours.

Having a tough time now and really dealing with cravings. I almost had a beer in the house last night. Stress and anxiety bring out these feelings. I just want to scream. I’m afraid I’m going to cave and drink, then I don’t know what will happen. Thursday will be 5 months, I wish I was feeling happier about it. I just get sick of having to face everything, sometimes I want to blot things out die for a little while but I don’t want to be addicted, this just sucks.

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