My number one triggers to drink are stress and anxiety. Feeling overwhelmed, grab some wine and calm down. Well I can’t do that anymore and sometimes it’s so frigging hard. I can deal with social events and people drinking, it can be uncomfortable, but not like stress.

Today was really overwhelming. I wanted to stop off and grab wine but I didn’t and even that frustrates me because, I don’t want to think like this anymore. I want to be done with this alcohol thinking popping into my head during tough and even not so tough times.

When my mind is running rampant and my body is so full of cortisol I feel like I could run a marathon, I don’t know how to cope. I can usually handle stress well but right now there’s just too much going on and I feel stretched thin. Work has picked up again and I have about 10 projects going on and I have to travel next week. I leave Sunday and get back Tuesday night. My mom will be here Wednesday for a week and I need to get the house in order. I’ve been in pain for about a week with sciatica. I have a bad bunion on my left foot that is affecting my gait and how I walk. My foot, legs and back are in pain, so I haven’t done my normal walking exercises. I feel like an old lady who’s falling apart, I’m not even 40. I have an appt. with the foot doctor the end of the month, he may suggest surgery, my mother had it a few years ago so I know it’s not too bad, just damn inconvenient.

Really trying to just get through this and not pick up. I don’t want to be the person I was 6 months ago. I want to be present for things because you don’t get that time back. I think of my daughter and being there for her, she is my reason for all of this.

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4 thoughts on “Triggers

  1. Stress can make me triggery too. I used to open the bottle to de stress. Now I escape to bed to switch off. Unfortunately when you have a lot to do thats not always an option so i write lists. lots of them. I am definitely a list person. I priorities my list then I absolutly do not let my self even think about anything except whats next on the list. No use worrying about it until I get to it on the list. Thats just me though. I also recommend trying to delegate some stuff, Im getting better at that, though it can be hard withmy control freak personality lol.

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  2. Ha, you know what. I actually used to run Marathon’s to get ride of the anxiety! Three to be exact. I found over the last six months I’ve slowly been cleaning out all the garbage I’ve kept inside for 30 plus years. There was a lot of Shit in there!!! Funny thing is, it’s working. I have had two panic attacks in 7 months and my daily anxiety is non existent compared to where I started. Keep working on it, don’t drink , reach out and look into a support group if you can. *hugs*

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Chronic pain or illness is a big trigger and leaves you feeling like you have no control. Sometimes family and friends get tired of hearing about your pain or illness leaving you with no one to talk to. I have Celiac Disease which is still widely misunderstood. Most people think if I have some bread I’ll just pass gas and be in the toilet all day. Celiac is different for everyone. Mine has caused arthritis, osteoporosis, spinal stenosis, and my bones to weaken. I have bulging discs and 1 ruptured disc. I can’t take any pain meds because of my Celiac and my Chronic Kidney Disease. I drank because I never learned how to socialize or handle stress. But I’ve learned to handle pain.

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