I want to run far, far away from here.  I need a break, I need to be by myself with no responsibilities.  No work, no boss, no email, no husband, no parents.  I want my daughter though, I can’t run away from her. I’ve been sick, I’ve been tired, I’ve had enough.  I really want to take 3 days, go to the beach, somewhere warm ALONE but that would be selfish of me so I do nothing.

I’m so frustrated with life right now I’m being a bitch, an ass, everything my husband does pisses me off and I lash out at him because he’s closest to me. I have no idea what my problem is.  I just want space and to get my head back together. I feel like I’m losing it.

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3 thoughts on “I want to run

  1. Remember the difference of selfish and self-care!!! To be fully present and available for your family, you have to first take care of YOU 🙂 . Hugs….maybe take a night off in a hotel to relax and have some you time? They will be okay without you for one night and might even be happier when you get back because you will be calmer and in a better place for you!

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  2. I know exactly how you feel. I went through this too, and still go through it from time to time. In fact I’m in the middle of one those episodes at the moment. I also feel like running away.
    Looking after yourself is the most important thing you can do for yourself and your sobriety. The way I’m getting through this time is reminding myself that this is temporary(little sleep, insane work , only parent) in a week and half when my husband is back I am going to take ME time. I will take a break maybe not go away(cant afford it right now) but I will be going for long walks and hand some of the responsibility over. If you can get away then do it! This quote from Shakespeare sums it up very well: ‘self love, my liege, is not so vile a sin as self-neglecting’

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  3. I’m sorry you’re feeling like that, I can totally understand the need for your own space and time. Could you have a quiet ‘girls’ weekend with your daughter? If not then even small things like an afternoon out alone? It’s not selfish at all, it’s necessary for some personality types.

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