The voice is back it says, I want alcohol. It’s like a siren calling me. I can almost taste it on my tounge. The cravings are really bad. I feel like saying so what, I’m done. I want to be able to relax on a Friday night and have a drink. I can almost feel the relapse coming on. I haven’t had cravings this intense yet and it’s been over a year. Part of me doesn’t care anymore. I’m doing the things I have to do in order to earn a paycheck, be a good mom and a good wife. I’m not doing anything for me. I don’t even have a good friend to go out with or talk to, isn’t that sad?
Right now I honestly don’t know if I’m going to drink or not. I really want to act out right now. I’m a reckless teenager now, not caring about consequences.