Another rough day here, feel like I’m so close to the edge. I’m already very stressed and more little things keep piling. I had a meltdown at dinner tonight wanted to throw pans then storm out and buy alcohol. I don’t get this stressed too often but I feel like I’m stuck in a shit storm that won’t clear up. I vented to my husband he’s a good listener. I took a bath and watched a reality Halloween baking show.

I’m really worried I’m close to relapse. I have to find a better way of dealing with all this tension. I feel like I’m being pulled in twenty different directions especially at work and then I get home and it doesn’t end.

I have to travel next week on business. I am not looking forward to it. I have social anxiety. I constantly worry I will say something stupid and look incompetent, that’s probably my worst fear aside from confrontation. Hopefully it will go ok. I hate being such a worry wart and always thinking the worst. I need to change my attitude just don’t know if it can be done.

2 thoughts on “On the edge

  1. I know anxiety has no rhyme or reason. It is awful.
    Maybe take a moment and list the things you can let slide. Order in meals for a few days. Car pool. Whatever.

    Travelling is a big one. I like to travel, but I get very anxious too. I do find taking gaba helps me a lot. You can buy it at any pharmacy.

    Hugs. Drinking will only make all these already overwhelming things worse. Sleep. It’s a better use if your limited time.

    Liked by 1 person

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