Another rough day here, feel like I’m so close to the edge. I’m already very stressed and more little things keep piling. I had a meltdown at dinner tonight wanted to throw pans then storm out and buy alcohol. I don’t get this stressed to often but I feel like I’m stuck in a shit storm that won’t cleat up. I vented to my husband he’s a good listener. I took a bath and watched a reality Halloween baking show.
I’m really worried I’m close to relapse. I have to find a better way of dealing with all this tension. I feel like I’m being pulled in twenty different directions especially at work and then I get home and it doesn’t end.
I have to travel next week on business. I am not looking forward to it. I have social anxiety. I constantly worry I will say something stupid and look incompetent, that’s probably my worst fear aside from confrontation. Hopefully it will go ok. I hate being such a worry wart and always thinking the worst. I need to change my attitude just don’t know if it can be done.