Contemplating 

Still thinking about my next move in this thing called life.  I am back on the baby kick and once again completely undecided.  A girl at work is pregnant which bright it back to take forefront again.  She's young, probably mid to late twenties and this is #2 for her.  Me- I'm feeling my age…

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The Voice

The voice is back it says, I want alcohol. It's like a siren calling me.  I can almost taste it on my tounge.  The cravings are really bad. I feel like saying so what, I'm done.  I want to be able to relax on a Friday night and have a drink.  I can almost feel…

Good news

The good news is I'm now sleeping.  I've been sleeping normal amounts for about 2 weeks now.  There is nothing worse than being sleep deprived, I felt like a waking zombie.  I am tapering off the medicine that I believe caused this along with depression and anxiety.  I'm not depressed anymore, I'm not smiling ear…

And again…..

I slept for 3 days and then last night, the dreaded Sunday night I was up again all night.  I started to doze around 5:30.  I couldn't go in on about an hour sleep so I took a vacation day and for 3 hours slept. When I woke up I made an appt with my…

Strange Days

It's been a strange few weeks.  I feel like I've been walking around in a fog and don't know what I'm doing anymore or who I am, not that I really did anyway, but I do feel less like myself.  I've been sick for a couple weeks and also dealing with severe insomnia.  There is…

I want to run

I want to run far, far away from here.  I need a break, I need to be by myself with no responsibilities.  No work, no boss, no email, no husband, no parents.  I want my daughter though, I can't run away from her. I've been sick, I've been tired, I've had enough.  I really want…

Beyond Stressed

I am so beyond stressed I don't know what to do.  Last night I was so hyped up and couldn't calm down, deep breaths wouldn't even help.  Then I woke up at 1 am and was up the rest of the night. Today I almost had a full on panic attack. My heart was hurting…