Romancing the drink

I am in a foul mood, I have been in this state of mind for about a month now. I don't deal well with stress, I want to bury my head in the sand or hide in my closet. I fantasize about quitting my job and working 3rd shift at Panera and baking bread, how…

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Snow storm

We're getting a crap load of snow again, third time in two weeks. Oh I am so ready for vacation in 2 months. Tonight/ tomorrow could dump about 18 inches of snow. I am hoping we do not lose power. We lost it for four days and then two days later another half day. I…

Almost slipped

I swear I almost drank tonight.  I was in a not caring about anything state and wanting to tell the universe to f off.  I could almost taste the alcohol in my mouth.  I sat outside the strip mall outdide Wines and More debating what to do with tears in my eyes and reciting the…

Alcoholic Thinking

I made it home from my business trip from the mid-west.  Everything went well and it was very pretty, I'd go back for a vacation. I did make it through another dinner without a drink, had an O'douls though.  I am finding myself obsessed with alcohol.  I guess I'm having dry drunk syndrome.  I'm so…

The Voice

The voice is back it says, I want alcohol. It's like a siren calling me.  I can almost taste it on my tounge.  The cravings are really bad. I feel like saying so what, I'm done.  I want to be able to relax on a Friday night and have a drink.  I can almost feel…

365 Days

Today is my sober 1 year anniversary.  I made it.  It's been tough, I won't lie, but well worth it. My relationship with my family is so much better, because I'm fully present, not worrying about the next drink. Even though I've made it this far, I still get scared. I don't know yet that…