I am in a foul mood, I have been in this state of mind for about a month now. I don't deal well with stress, I want to bury my head in the sand or hide in my closet. I fantasize about quitting my job and working 3rd shift at Panera and baking bread, how…
Snow storm
We're getting a crap load of snow again, third time in two weeks. Oh I am so ready for vacation in 2 months. Tonight/ tomorrow could dump about 18 inches of snow. I am hoping we do not lose power. We lost it for four days and then two days later another half day. I…
Some nights I really want to drink.
I'm not going to lie and pretend it's all unicorns and rainbows (my kid watches a lot of My Little Pony), some times I really wanna drink. I craved some Sauvingnon Blanc tonight. I find myself just sighing and tense. I'd love to zone out with a glass or two. Nothing really bad happened today…
Almost slipped
I swear I almost drank tonight. I was in a not caring about anything state and wanting to tell the universe to f off. I could almost taste the alcohol in my mouth. I sat outside the strip mall outdide Wines and More debating what to do with tears in my eyes and reciting the…
Alcoholic Thinking
I made it home from my business trip from the mid-west. Everything went well and it was very pretty, I'd go back for a vacation. I did make it through another dinner without a drink, had an O'douls though. I am finding myself obsessed with alcohol. I guess I'm having dry drunk syndrome. I'm so…
I think my life is boring
Pretty sure my life is quite lame. When I was younger I wanted to be a grown up, now that I'm here, I'd like to go back. Let's just say my life is not highly exciting right now. As I was writing this, I just had to get up to chase my neurotic dog who…
Stinking Thinking about Drinking
Well the title pretty much says it all. Lately I find myself consumed with thoughts of alcohol. I want to drink really bad, I know I can't and I'm extremely pissed off and mad. Tonight I wanted to stop of at the store for some wine. I wanted to just have one. I thought through…
The Voice
The voice is back it says, I want alcohol. It's like a siren calling me. I can almost taste it on my tounge. The cravings are really bad. I feel like saying so what, I'm done. I want to be able to relax on a Friday night and have a drink. I can almost feel…
365 Days
Today is my sober 1 year anniversary. I made it. It's been tough, I won't lie, but well worth it. My relationship with my family is so much better, because I'm fully present, not worrying about the next drink. Even though I've made it this far, I still get scared. I don't know yet that…
Gift giving and reflection
The week is winding down and soon Christmas will be here. The last couple of days at work should go smoothly, we have a company luncheon tomorrow and Friday the boss will bring our department out for lunch. Friday I will be bringing in gifts for my co workers. As always, I am completely…
